If this were a Christian theory class – after welcoming everyone and mentioning the beautiful weather we’d be having I would say to the class that a Christian is one who is not only moving himself from the darkness to the light, but is also in some way moving the world from darkness into the light. I’d say something about how we cannot isolate ourselves from the dark places of the world and only hang out in holy circles, as the dark places of the world won’t fix themselves. They won’t heal themselves. Instead the Christian charges forward into those places and offers a light, a redemption, a savior.
I’m writing this post at nearly 2am. I got off work tonight way late, later than I ever have due to the worst incident I’ve ever witnessed in my near 8 years in the field of social/human services.
What a theory – going into the dark, murky, evil places of the world and trying to bring a light. Man it sounds beautiful. And man is it the worst to be there.
And truth be told it sure doesn’t seem like I brought much light. Nights like tonight make me want to walk away, and say trying to bring redemption to this place isn’t for me. I truly wonder why I bother. I know all the cute answers about how I don’t know the impact I’m having and what not, I know because I’ve used them on myself.
You can tell this is a late night post. I offer no resolution. There is still much ugliness in the world. It’s despairing. It can seem hopeless. And I know it won’t change on it’s own, as much as I want it to. But at the same time, I don’t want to go back out there.